Opposites might attract, but equals attract more

Think back to the last few people you were attracted to. Picture them in your mind — how they looked, acted, and behaved. What was it that drew you to them? Was it all the similarities you shared, or was it because they were so unlike you? Depending on how you answer, you may believe the idea that opposites attract is real. Or maybe you’re the type to consider it a made-up phenomenon by big rom-coms trying to trick you into buying movie tickets.

It always seems like opposites attract, doesn’t it? We’re matchmaking experts here at Good Girls Like Bad Boys, and we can offer some insight.

Setting wise boundaries in dating becomes more important as two people feel more attracted to one another, especially when they’re opposites in personality. However, one reason people are initially drawn to an individual with opposite traits is a pretty healthy one. It is that we are drawn to those who possess what we do not, so that we can internalize and own that trait for ourselves. This is a good thing, as that is how God designed the growth process. However, dating is not a good arena in which to develop oneself in a specific and important aspect of growth.

Take for example Lindsey and Alex. Lindsey was more of a lover than a fighter. She was good at caring and connecting with others, but she had a hard time with assertiveness and conflict. It seemed she often ended up having to put up with maltreatment or inconsiderateness from others. Lindsey started dating Alex, who was her opposite in this area.